Decisions

Write about decisions that impacted my life. I would have to say that this was one of the worst assignments I had to write about. Why? Because it went beyond the past two years when all of my important decisions have taken place. I look at school, here at Potsdam, and that decision was monumental. I had dove head first into relationships that would last forever, bull, and then had to stand up and watch them collapse. I had a wonderful girlfriend that was there for every important change in the past year for me, and promised to be there for all the rest, until she decided differently. My future developed, my life became clear, and this all happened in the past year. This was everything, right?
I sat in the laundry room, staring at the washing machine and the dryers and I started to reflect. I started to realize that my life, well it was a terrible and wonderful, lucky and unfortunate life that has been lived, full of second chances and opportunities that were left unnoticed. Living only two years, I found myself struggling for life. My mother told me once that I had flat-lined on the hospital bed, only by miracle being resuscitated. Decision to live.
I remember sitting on the school bus, long ago when I was not quite mature. Next to me sat a great girl, whom I had known for a few years and considered one of my best
friends. Then on the other side of me was a young boy, who mocked her constantly. I sat, joining his teasing, to the point where she cried. Later in life, she became my best friend, always the one to pull me out of the mud. Decision to be popular. Decision to risk my future.
I have a permanent welt on my forehead from May 21, 1998, the day I met the best person to ever walk into my life. My brother, Casey James, was brought into the world. Decisions of others, bringing me the joy of life.
I have fought against the forces of tyranny in my own household. I have made friends with the brown eyes of a four legged animal. I have lied and cheated my way through relationships, risking the souls and lives of friends that I would never be able to replace. I have been mistrusted for the act of cheating, losing a great friend in the process. I have seen all the possible deaths a family can have, short of watching a member of my immediate family pass, watching the torture and uncertainty that fills the voices and eyes of each family member. Suicide, homicide, accidents and overdoses, each and all. I have stopped the best people in my life from committing the same acts, pushing to help them overcome, and have seen others simply succumb to the torture. I have stood in the eyes of hundreds to say good bye, and have hidden in the corner when I am in a crowd. Decisions to simply live beyond all the odds, and survive.
Second chances, lost opportunities, all decisions that have affected all of us. How do you decide one that truly reflects you?